The Past Don't Matter

Two years ago my life was a mishap, like a wave tossed in the ocean unsure on which way to go and which part to restart. I've always wished that life has a restore point where you can always come back to the part where you've sabotage the beautiful life God has created for you.

But, as I deal with disappointments and resentments, it only stole the joy of finding the true meaning of my existence. Until I realized that I can not buy back the time I should be enjoying my God given life and start rearranging my life because the past doesn't matter at all, what matter is how I live today.

Little did I realize that through those pain I've been through, God was molding and preparing me to be a better person. I've been with alot of relationship in the hope to find love and attention where I couldn't seek in my own home but end up in despair because they couldn't live up to the kind of love I am longing for. I battle with God everyday because He couldn't provide me with a perfect partner to meet all my needs and demands. I couldn't even change partner unless I have settled for an extra one because I was so afraid to be left alone. I had a lot of fears that I couldn't stand on my own.

To start a relationship with someone, you have to build a good relationship within yourself. You have to know what you want, what are your priorities, boundaries and limitations and what path you want to walk into.

Ofcourse, life has full of choices. you can restart your life through YOUR WAY or GOD'S WAY. Restarting, doesn't really mean going back and putting together those empty pieces in your life. Restarting means, beginning and rearranging a new life for a better YOU.

If you choose YOUR WAY,you might as well go around the same predicaments and before you knew it, you have wasted your time for our TIME are numbered.

Many are called but few are chosen, this is because, not everybody makes it in the final test. GOD'S WAY is least chosen path for those who haven't realized the reason of their existence and the purpose of their life.

I battle with myself over and over again because I didn't know God except for those religion teachers who preached us about the Holy Trinity. I never doubt God existence but I do question about His wherabouts in my Life.

My searched about God began when some of my friends asked me, how well do I know God? I managed to fake an impression that I know my creator very well and I am well versed with the Bible. But I know I can not mock God, who sees and knows all my doings.

Day after day they annoy me with the same question that I have to divert our conversations to something more interesting until one day I finally surrender myself to take time to know Him.

For the first time in my life, I was determined to know Him and make Him a part of my life. After I have read the entire bible, my views changed and my relationship with others were strenghtened. I learned that before you can maintain a good relationship with the people around you, you have make a relationship within yourself making God as the center of your life.

My past don't matter anymore, what matter is how I live today for my future. Through all my falls and short comings in life, God was behind me, shaping me to become more pleasing in His sights.

Now, if life is a two way road, will I take a U TURN? If God has the will for me to go back to those days I was a wanderer, I would accept His task. But as of now, I am contented and happy with my relationship with God, Family and Friends.